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Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic. You do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear. It’s odd though, your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?”

“They said, “Good morning, General.”Similar Posts:

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2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying GO TO HELL!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3. Similar Posts:

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Find Out With the Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE)
A 24-Question Self-Exam by Bob Sutton

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While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, “Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?”

“I’m listening to the music of the tree,” the other man replied.

“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“No, would you like to give it a try?”

Understandably curious, the man says, “Well, OK…” So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car
keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuf fed to the tree stark naked, and asked, “What the heck happened to you?” He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he
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Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.”

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said “Hillary in ’08″ I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

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2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is ‘out of your league’ bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’

11. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

14. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

15. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

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Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, since he was almost finished coloring the second one.

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